Pressing Pause…

“Pause” by Jill Scott

Hey – It’s me
I’m callin’
To schedule
A Nervous
No
Make that necessary
Breakdown
I won’t be answering
Anything
I’ll be so busy
With my knees on the ground
And my hands up towards the clouds
Confessing out loud
Confessing out loud
I ain’t
To proud
To say I’m slipping
So I’m callin’
To schedule
A very necessary
Breakdown

Leave me alone
Now.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

When I first began writing this post, I think I started it over about six times because I was trying to find a clever and entertaining way to share my experience with you guys.  After many failed attempts, I realized that the only way I would get my point across is by liberating my mind and heart, stripping myself of insecurity and just…writing. Realizing this, I grabbed my laptop, earbuds and went to work.

While writing and listening to my shuffled playlist, a song by my best friend in my head soul artist, Jill Scott, named Pause, began to play.  This song is on her new cd ‘Woman’, which I have listened to about 115 times since it was released last week {don’t judge…True Jill fans know how it goes down!}, so clearly I had heard it before, but today….today was different. I not only listened with my ears, I listened with my heart.

The song talks about taking a breather from life to press pause to have a ‘nervous, no – make that necessary, breakdown’.  It talks about taking the time to be 100% vulnerable with yourself and say ‘I need some time…and help’.  As women, we wear so many hats that we become stressed and stretched WAY too far! Between the spouse, kids, job and everything else in between, there comes a time you have to throw the hand and be like ‘Hold up….I need some time…’  The song even ends with the words ‘Leave me alone…NOW.’  #astonishing  When I heard this, I damn near choked on my drink — This is EXACTLY how I had been feeling over the past year!! Jill struck a nerve with this one!

The past two years have been some of the most rewarding, yet challenging years of my life.  In these years, I have had to learn some hard, but valuable lessons about life and myself.  One of the things I have learned {and am still learning} is that life is meant to be lived in the most authentic way possible.  I have learned that in order for me to be the best wife, businesswoman, sister, blogger, etc. that I can be, I have to be willing to take the time to take care of me FIRST.  Truth is, I am no good to anyone else if I am not good to me. The key to this is being able to prioritize and deal with things accordingly.  Take a moment, a day, a week or a year {like me!} to figure out what it is that’s causing you to feel overwhelmed and frustrated with things.  If you have to send the kids away for the weekend and go get a hotel room for some peace in your thoughts, DO IT! The woman that will evolve after the release and rebuild will be worth more to yourself and your family than you could ever imagine! Having pinpointed the problem areas, roll up your sleeves, and in the infamous words of Iyanla Vanzant, get ready to ‘DO THE WORK, BELOVED!’

You will see…. when your self is revived and you are back to your ‘regularly scheduled program’, you approach everything with a fresh vision.  Since my return to blogging and business, I am processing things with a clearer mind and a more vigorous motivation.  My mindset has changed and I am now living life with a proactive mindset, instead of reactive.  Shiiiii…. Sometimes I amaze myself with this thing.. *dusts my shoulders off*

So there you have it.  I took a break from blogging because…Life happened. And it’s okay – because it will never stop happening and I’m good with that.  BUT the next time it happens, things will be different. .. Why? Because I will make it my business to have a ‘nervous, no – make that necessary, breakdown’….and if you know what’s good for you,  you will, also!

Ciao for now….

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