What’s YOUR Dream?

As you all probably know by now, I am SWAMPED {in a great way!} with my new project and business, by KikiSol, therefore I haven’t been posting and blogging as much as I used to, as of late.  But I’m on notice now and I’m going to try to do better…Key word being, try!!

Since I’ve started this business venture, there have been a million emotions to present themselves internally.  I’ve been happy, excited, nervous, anxious, exhilarated, afraid, overzealous, fearful, elated, overjoyed and insecure.  The last emotion is the one that has been visiting me more frequently than the others and for a while I wasn’t sure why…Until now.

Just to give you a little back story on me, I’m a dreamer.  Anyone who knows me knows that this mind of mine comes up with a million, ba-jillion ideas a day! I have had dreams of being a singer, a cosmetologist, a writer, an actress, and the list goes on and on…and on! I have been faced with situations that could have potentially placed me on paths that could have led to the pursuit and achievement of those dreams, but it never happened.  I always figured a way to think {and OVER think!!} my way out of a situation because of thoughts of lacking and insecurity.  Yes, I would walk away feeling disappointed and in many situations, robbed of my dreams, because I allowed these thoughts and notions to fill my head and eventually work their way into my heart and spirit, thus killing my drive towards anything that I had set out to do.

From those moments on, I have never been able to get a grasp on these type feelings and thoughts.  Countless situations have ensued where I have been faced with opportunities and for reasons of insecurity and fear, I fell back in the same practice of talking myself out of it and never moving forward in what I intended or dreamed to do. This type behavior has not only crippled my faith in myself, it has caused me to be lackadaisical, undisciplined, and disorganized in the quest of my dreams.

But the by KikiSol project is something different… This is not a dream of mine…This is my purpose.  This effort is something that I feel like I was born to do… I feel like everything that I have been through in my life has lead me to this point.  My struggles with my own self-love, my fight to find out who I was and what it was I wanted, my quest of self-celebration and acknowledgement…All of that was a grooming process that lead me to this place, this moment right here!! Am I nervous? Yes. Do I feel like I am qualified educationally? Hell no! Am I going to go for it? With everything I have in ME!

When I research and see these stylists and event coordinators with all levels of education and experience is when these moments get the best of me, but I am reminded in my spirit Zechariah 4:10; ‘Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the LORD that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel?’ In other words, everything has a start, so never look down on your starting place, for when you arrive to where you are to go, these humble beginnings will make you that much more appreciative.

I know this fight won’t be easy…It’s hard to break a habit that you have had for over 35 years!! I often refer to myself as a recovering fear-aholic. The key is I just have to take this thing one day at a time.  I have to keep myself encouraged and come to the FULL understanding that this is my purpose and He has equipped me for this moment in my life.

What’s your dream? What’s the one thing you KNOW you were put here to do, but for whatever reason, you opted not to pursue? Or maybe you don’t know what your purpose is, but out of laziness or fear of the unknown, you don’t care to figure it out?  I challenge any of you who may be reading this to go back to your dream.  Go back to the thing that you know you were put here to do.  Go back to the dream that keeps replaying in your mind, the dream that keeps stirring in your spirit, the dream that won’t let you sleep at night, the dream that calls you to greatness.  Go back to THAT dream, look it dead in the eye and say ‘I’m nervous and I’m scared, but I’m chasing after you!!’

Ciao for now…


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